I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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