sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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