we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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