I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I haven't been this sober since birth.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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