just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Still dying that you shit outside
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
