I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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