Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
