you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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