YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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