She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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