It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
