We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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