So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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