i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
