areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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