Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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