Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
