I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
