Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
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I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
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Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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