Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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