found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I know her cup size but not her name....
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