She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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