when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
