One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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