I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
