i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I wear drunk well.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
