Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
