I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize