i think i have two assholes
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
