I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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