This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
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do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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