So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
