my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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