It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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