How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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