I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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