Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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