Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
