considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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