Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
