does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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