i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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