So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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