i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
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And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
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Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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