She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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