It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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