I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize
