I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize