i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
