She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize