So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
