i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
