her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i think my mom watched the whole time
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
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i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
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maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I could fuck to npr.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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