too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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