What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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