they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize